I hear so often from survivors, and I was once guilty myself, “I am not who I am supposed to be!” Who do you think that was? Whats wrong with who you are now?
I myself was brought up short with that question when I was lamenting to a counselor, “Look at my life! It’s ruined!”
Who were you supposed to be except happy, able to love and be loved and at peace? You have always been that person. You just got a little lost on the trail because of lies and deceit. Get up, get back on the road with your new map and move forward.
Just be yourself, embrace all the parts of yourself. Sit quietly this morning for just a minute and tell yourself, your inner child, “Your abuser is a criminal who lied to you. You are loved and you can be at peace.”
Namaste~~~ Annie
Broken Until Spoken 
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I try to be happy but it seems everytime I find happiness,something comes along to make me wonder what I did wrong. It’s not just the abuse by my father n older brother. I also lost my first daughter suddenly at 20 months. I have a much misunderstood medical condition which caused me to retire from my nursing profession which I loved I live in pain 24/7. If it wasn’t for a husband that I married 10 years ago ,my children n their families,esp my 5 yr old grandson,sometimeslife just wouldn’t be worth all the trouble it takes just to get up every day. One day I’d like to write an.autobiography but my fingers don’t work like they used to. It might take me forever but its a story of fighting,not giving up and survival.
I too wake up every morning in pain. I am actually having surgery in the fall for a beating I received from my parents over forty years ago. A beating that now causes not only pain, but coordination problems today.
Voice to text programs are remarkable today and get better with use. I have one! I hope you write your story, not only for yourself but, for those who need to know they are not alone. We are all fighters and survivors. ((HUGS))) Namste ~~ Annie