Signs You are in an Abusive Relationship

 

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This article may appear to be geared toward men as abusers.  It is difficult sometimes to use gender free words.  Women can be just as guilty so please don’t miss the message.

1. Quick involvement.  He/she comes on strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this before by anyone.” or “I’ve never felt like this about anyone before”  You get pressured for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

2. Jealous. Your partner is excessively possessive, calls constantly, or visits unexpectedly, accuses you of looking at others with great interest and scrutinizes every activity away from them and with them

3. Controlling. He/she interrogate you intensely about who you talked to and where you were; checks mileage on the car; keeps all the money or asks for receipts; insists you ask for permission to go anywhere or do anything, checks time in and out.

4. Very unrealistic expectations.  expects you to be the perfect person and meet their every need.

5. Isolating.  They will attempt to cut you off from family and friends; deprives you of a phone or car, or tries to prevent you from holding a job,complain about your job or hobbies that take you out of his control, struggles with the need for you to hold a job and their need to keep you isolated to themselves

6. Blames others for own mistakes. The boss, family, you – it’s always someone else’s fault if anything goes wrong.  Who ever is handy will get the blame.

7.  Everyone else is responsible for their feelings. The abuser says, “You make me angry” instead of “I’m angry.” “I wouldn’t get so p**** off if you wouldn’t…  Why do you have to do that?  Why did you make me do that?”

8. Overly Sensitive.  Is easily insulted, angered, hurt and will often rant and rave about injustices that are just part of life. Including feeling left out, un-friended, and unloved if not at the absolute center of the relationship

9. He/she is cruel to animals and children.  pushes animals brutally and unfairly. May expect children to do things beyond their ability, or tease them until they cry, lecture them beyond their year and ability to understand.

10. His/her “playful” use of force during sex.  Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will and may say they find the idea of rape exciting. Intimidates, manipulates, or forces you to engage in unwanted sex acts.

11. There is verbal abuse.  They constantly criticize you or says cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. He/she will use vulnerable points about your past/life against you.

12. There are rigid gender roles. He/She expects you to serve, obey, and remain at home when not required to be at your job.

13. Sudden mood swings.  switches from loving to angry in a matter of minutes.

14. History of battering. He admits to hitting women in the past, but states that they or the situation brought it on. Feels that they deserved it and so it is OK.

15. Threats  They makes statements such as, “I’ll break your neck,” but then dismisses it with “I really didn’t mean it.”

 

Annie O’Sullivan, Author of my Story “Can You Hear Me Now?” Available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble

 

SEEK-ASK-KNOCK

Seek and you shall find.

Ask and you shall receive.

Knock the door shall be opened.

This is law!  The Universe is calling to your power.  It calls for you to find your gift in this life.  Ask the question and listen to the answer!

Seek your gift!  Everyone has one.  But you have to seek it, become conscious of it.  Most are asking, how can I make more money, get more things, collect more stuff.  How can I avoid pain?

Instead ask what power is in me?  How can I become more myself?  How can I achieve my potential?

Survivors!!  It is not too late to become aware of the wonders that are inside you once you take the time to look.  You can do it reflecting from the comfort of your sofa.  You can ponder on a walk.  You can discuss it with a trustworthy friend.  Spend just five minutes out of your busy day on this quest for self-enlightenment and empowerment.  You are not the past.  You are the future.

We all have power that we might think was taken away.  We all have a gift that no one told us to look for.

What is yours?

 

We hold everything within ourselves to change our lives…

Profoundly simple and profoundly difficult.  Is it really just an idle thought on a Sunday night?  No! Not at all!

Consider this thought from Andrew Carnegie:

Any idea that is held in the mind, that is either feared, or revered, will begin at once to clothe itself in the most conveinient and appropriate form available….

Key words are feared and revered.  Why are both words key to us as survivors?  As children we feared and indeed revered our abuser(s)   They shaped our beliefs about ourselves. They controlled our belief of ourselves and to survive we clothed ourselves in the most conveinient and appropriate form available.  We also did it out of innocence.

What do you believe today?

It’s good to be back!  Annie

http://www.blogtalkradio.com

 

Blog Talk: Why is it important to listen to our show? Let me talk about it with you in the ARCHIVES!!

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Curious!? This is a one-time, single event show to discuss why what we are doing is so important to survivors of abuse and those who love and care about them. What do we talk about? Come hear how two girls talk about the unspeakable and let you walk away knowing its all OK to talk about! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain! WE have had writers, publishers, work out experts, diet experts, Relationship experts and many other advocates who are working to change the world into a better place in however small or large way they can!

Annie O’Sullivan and Kelly Behr have candid conversations concerning the past and much more importantly the future. Our guest have walked your road and come out the other side.

Working to INSPIRE, ENCOURAGE, EDUCATE, AND MENTOR FOR A BETTER TODAY AND TOMORROW!

Your Hosts:

Annie O’Sullivan, Author/Writer/Speaker, Can You Hear Me Now? (Available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble online)

Kelly Behr, Motivational Speaker and Head Goddess at http://www.MountainGoddessUnplugged.com