Tomorrow morning when I get up it will be the first day of Child Abuse Awareness Month. April 1st.

Isn’t it funny that it should start on April Fools Day? Your first breath is a little anger that I even thought it. It was mine too! But you know what? It’s appropriate. The perpetrators of child abuse try to fool everyone including their victims that what they are doing is not wrong, that it should be a secret and that there is nothing wrong. April Fools to all who abuse children. We grow up and we KNOW who you are.

My thoughts will be on the children who did not survive. But for the grace of God I would not have survived. My hopes will be for future that doesn’t need a month like this. And a child will be able to speak freely about something heinous happening to them. Keep talking, talking and talking. Take away the possibility of a secret and change a life. We can do this! Make a difference, it has to start somewhere. Let it begin with you and with me. XO ♥ Annie

I hope that you picked up a Chocolate Bunny for your inner child and that you smile as you chomp off a chocolate ear! Then eat some peeps, (pink or yellow) and some Jelly Beans! Good wishes and good times this Easter sunday. Love and hugs to all. XOXO Namaste, Annie

THIS IS ON MY WALL IN MY OFFICE AND IT REMINDS ME EVERY DAY WHAT IT IMPORTANT. I don’t know who originally wrote it but it is definitly worth sharing.

To make a difference in this world one must first dare to be different. When the truth needs to be spoken, when the work needs to be done, the the help needs to be offered

DARE!

All survivors want to be strong enough to confront their offender. We work long and hard to be brave enough. We rehearse what we will say. We imagine what they will say and how we will reply over and over in our heads. And then… hey what happened?

They didn’t say what I expected!
They didn’t apologize!
They blamed me!
They called me a liar
They told me to shut up and stop talking about it!
They said get over it, it was a long time ago!
They called me names!
I didn’t practice any of that!

Any of the above fit your situation? Any combination ring true? Personally I think confrontation is very important. However, it is not to be taken lightly. If you are not ready it can be turned on you and hurt you.

Rarely do survivors hear any magical word from their perpetrator that makes it all go away. Mostly it is a disappointing experience in that regard. Your inner child is waiting for the words, I’m sorry and I love you and I see your pain. But the adult self may find them empty. You must be clear about what your needs are.

I didn’t go through this process totally alone. I had counselors and group to discuss my thoughts, needs, wants, deepest desires and the reality of what I would probably hear.

There is great healing in being able to say, “You hurt me.” It takes strength to not let their blame and guilt shifting affect you.

Be ready to hear anything, and be strong. You can do it.

SE-CRET
/ˈsēkrit/
Adjective
Not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen by others: “a secret plan”.

Noun
Something that is kept or meant to be kept unknown or unseen by others: “a state secret”.

Synonyms
Adjective. hidden – occult – privy – private – clandestine
Noun. mystery – secrecy – arcanum – confidence

(Arcanum -a secret known only to the members of a small select group

Kelly my pal Head Goddess/Co-host and I went to lunch today to work out details of coming shows and to ponder life as we sometimes do.

Secret. The word secret kept coming up. We all know that this is the pivot on which pedophilia turns our lives upside down and what they thrive on. Those who groom children and then later rape them feed on secrecy like youngsters thrive on vegetables, sunshine and fresh air.

We keep the secret as children out of fear, guilt, threats, cajoling… We all have reason for keeping the secret and they are pretty much the same. THEN, we become adults. Still we feel the need to keep the secret. Now out of a misguided sense of guilt and shame. The longer we keep the secret, the deeper the shame, and then of course the longer we keep the secret. It gets harder and harder to tell. It goes on and on till we are paralyzed in our lives, stuck, pretending there is nothing in our lives to hide, and often still protecting the very people who did not protect us.

Then, WHO do we tell? I felt so dirty and I had no one to tell. Certainly not my family members. I was certain that I would be thrown out of church. I was certain my friends would turn away in disgust.

Roughly 30% (I beleive more) of the population, man and woman, are afflicted by this “secret” and don’t talk.

In 2009 the pandemic influenza H1N1 2009 caused over 18,138 deaths. It was all over the media. Journalist and politicians were all over the tragedy and how to handle this world wide epidemic.
That same year (http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets) 31,000 deaths under the age of 15 were reported due to neglect and abuse. The United States as an industrialized country, lead in this list.

Child abuse and neglect affects over 1 million children every year. Child abuse and neglect costs our nation $220 million every day. For investigations. For foster care. Medical and mental health treatment. And later for special education, juvenile and adult crime, chronic health problems, and other costs across the life span. We will pay a staggering $80 BILLION to address child abuse and neglect in 2012. Child abuse and neglect affect us all. http://www.preventchildabuse.org It is an expensive secret to keep.

PLEASE for your sake and the sake of the future: Share your story

A TROUBLED MIND.

Spotting Child Sexual Abuse.

10 Reasons to Write about Your Life.  Check this out!  It is exactly what we talked about on the radio show last week!  You will love it!