I was once a very sad confused unhappy soul

I decided to be happy.  Once I made that choice, and it was a choice, I began to work towards that goal.  It didn’t happen overnight.  BUT MY FRIENDS…  it was so worth the trouble. 

Guest Writers.

I think this is worth sharing again! Thanks so much to Dawna Larsen

H*A*P*P*Y***H*O*U*R on BLOG TALK RADIO! Yes Annie is on the internet with her own Radio Show

Can You Hear Me Now? is hosting our first HAPPY HOUR call in AND YES!!! we want to hear from you this Friday NIGHT! What makes you a survivor and not a victim? Celebrate by sharing that success with listener! Call in number is 347-215-7754 6PM to 7PM Pacific Time Friday!

Author/Advocate/Speaker/Survivor That’s me, Annie O’Sullivan and my wonderful co-host Kelly Behr who is Head Goddess at Mountain Goddess Unplugged will bring you honest upbeat conversations about the dark subject of child abuse and child sexual abuse and how to not only survive, but thrive. Please tune in on Friday evenings at 6pm PST, 8pm CST, 9pm EST for a line up of great guests and no holds barred discussions. My Book, ‘Can You Hear Me Now?’ is available on amazon & Barnes and Noble as well as other online stores.

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I hope to see you online and talk with you on the show! Different subject every week and always taking callers. Next week: My Publisher, Michelle Halket stay tuned for details

Interesting conversation today.  My nail tech has been bragging up my book!  Wonderful news, make me feel good.  She’s enthusiastically encouraging others to buy it, borrow it and somehow read it! Another lady who works in the salon was talking to me today that she wants to support me, but she just can’t do it.  She just doesn’t want to know that these things happen.  She doesn’t want to know about ugly things in the world.  And she said it so sweetly, so earnestly and honestly.

If only….

If only it were that easy to make it stop,  just don’t look, turn away, go deaf and blind

If only……  She has four young daughters.  I told her that statistically it could already be one of her daughters.  She said, Oh that’s silly, they would tell me.

My reply,   Don’t think they don’t know how you feel about hearing and seeing the ugly things.  Don’t think that they don’t love you for it ….  they do.  If the unthinkable happens…  they will hate you for it.

If only we lived in a world where this was an open conversation and children were made safe armed with knowledge that they do have rights about thier bodies.

Maybe someday.

Survivors often have trouble sifting the truth from the belief system they have been given and often are willing to take the blame when it really isn’t Theirs. You have trouble beleiving you are loved and often also believe, quite falsely, that your opinion will not matter.

Before you take yourself down that twist4d road, ask yourself, Where is the proof that what I am thinking is true?

Think about this very old quote:

Don’t lie to yourself, it is the worst of all mistakes. Be true to yourself and when you deal with situtions see them as they are, not worse nor in a way that minimize them. Sometimes we make expectations and build dreams on a net of lies, and it is a matter of time to meet the sad truth. Facing reality may be bitter but this is the only way to grow and move on.   Bathna ♥

I was 33 when I went into therapy for the first time. My life was a mess. I have a pretty rough story but with help and an ocean of tears, day by day, sometimes minute by minute I worked my way through all of it.
I don’t know the details of your story; however, I know it was rough too.
I decided I wanted to be happy. I decided I wanted to live. Then I worked at it. I crawled, and then walked, fell down a lot and finally one day without realizing it, life had changed. I found myself. The biggest obstacle was me. The biggest obstacle was loving myself, believing I was, good enough. That is what your perpetrator; rapist, abuser and (fill in your own word here) gave you as a legacy. I say… give it back to them.
You have to make a decision. Then you have to do whatever it takes to make that decision a reality. YOU deserve to be happy. More importantly you deserve to find peace and an inner stillness. You deserve to be understood. You are important. Believe that. Come post to me anytime you need cheer leader. I’m never more than a screen away.
It was once thought that I would never get here, but here I am! I am holding the light out for you and so are many are others. Trust yourself. Love yourself. Find your peace, your truth. Namaste! Annie

“Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”

It seems that the concept of Karma is mentioned in all religions and cultures and it is ancient wisdom.

We are responsible to ourselves, to others, to the community and ultimately the planet.  Everything we do as an individual causes a ripple through time and space.  Good or bad.  What does the this have to do with child abuse? 

A 9 year old child is raped.  Think it doesn’t affect you?  It does.  The cost of this childs broken spirit can be a life lost.  It can be a future of addictions, criminal behavior and self abuse that cost society dearly in human terms and in dollars spent through our civic systems.  It could mean a child that grows up to abuse or neglect thier own children.

Don’t ignore it.   It haunts us all.

Let us sow an environment of peaceful co-existance, a safe haven for our children and for everyone else and reap the harvest in the very next generation. 

Guest Writers.

T.S. Elliot wrote:

What we call the beginning is often the end,

And to make an end is a new beginning. 

We shall not cease from exploring,

and at the end of our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

Healing is like this quartlet. 

We are in pain and we cry for it to end. 

While looking at that pain we stand at a crossroad and begin over and over in so many ways to create a new life, to seek peace and self acceptance.

We search inside ourselves, exploring our pain, guilt and faulty thinking feeling as if this dirty secret is ours and somehow our fault.  We keep looking for the person we think we ‘should’ have been.  We must go back to our childhoods and recognize this is only where we came from, it is not who we are.  We simply picked up the wrong baggage and got a late start. Our beginning was not destined to be here.

Take a step back.  See where you came from and who YOU are. Ask yourself this question.  If your friend came and told you a story that was identical to yours, would you care for them less?  Call them a liar?  NO!  You would empathize, tlak and try to get them what they need.  You would listen. 

Listen to your own voice and be as kind to yourself as you would that friend or even a stranger.  Go back, and when YOU arrive at your beginning… you will indeed know the place and yourself.  You will see this was not your beginning at all.  You will one day see it for what it was and recognize that this is not who you are. Be happy and find peace.  You deserve it.  Namaste’   Annie

T.S. Elliot wrote:

What we call the beginning is often the end,

And to make an end is a new beginning. 

We shall not cease from exploring,

and at the end of our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

Healing is like this quartlet. 

We are in pain and we cry for it to end. 

While looking at that pain we stand at a crossroad and begin over and over in so many ways to create a new life, to seek peace and self acceptance.

We search inside ourselves, exploring our pain, guilt and faulty thinking feeling as if this dirty secret is ours and somehow our fault.  We keep looking for the person we think we ‘should’ have been.  We must go back to our childhoods and recognize this is only where we came from, it is not who we are.  We simply picked up the wrong baggage and got a late start. Our beginning was not destined to be here.

Take a step back.  See where you came from and who YOU are. Ask yourself this question.  If your friend came and told you a story that was identical to yours, would you care for them less?  Call them a liar?  NO!  You would empathize, tlak and try to get them what they need.  You would listen. 

Listen to your own voice and be as kind to yourself as you would that friend or even a stranger.  Go back, and when YOU arrive at your beginning… you will indeed know the place and yourself.  You will see this was not your beginning at all.  You will one day see it for what it was and recognize that this is not who you are. Be happy and find peace.  You deserve it.  Namaste’   Annie