T.S. Elliot wrote:

What we call the beginning is often the end,

And to make an end is a new beginning. 

We shall not cease from exploring,

and at the end of our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

Healing is like this quartlet. 

We are in pain and we cry for it to end. 

While looking at that pain we stand at a crossroad and begin over and over in so many ways to create a new life, to seek peace and self acceptance.

We search inside ourselves, exploring our pain, guilt and faulty thinking feeling as if this dirty secret is ours and somehow our fault.  We keep looking for the person we think we ‘should’ have been.  We must go back to our childhoods and recognize this is only where we came from, it is not who we are.  We simply picked up the wrong baggage and got a late start. Our beginning was not destined to be here.

Take a step back.  See where you came from and who YOU are. Ask yourself this question.  If your friend came and told you a story that was identical to yours, would you care for them less?  Call them a liar?  NO!  You would empathize, tlak and try to get them what they need.  You would listen. 

Listen to your own voice and be as kind to yourself as you would that friend or even a stranger.  Go back, and when YOU arrive at your beginning… you will indeed know the place and yourself.  You will see this was not your beginning at all.  You will one day see it for what it was and recognize that this is not who you are. Be happy and find peace.  You deserve it.  Namaste’   Annie