I have given a lot of thought to blame. Coming from a wildly abusive home it would be easy to assign blame for my life. It would be easy for any survivor of such things to give up. After all, this terrible thing happened.
I find blame to be a slippery slope. At some point I decided to let go of blame and see the past as an experience that colored me. Understanding the why allowed me to change. My three brothers have not fared as well. Violent, abusive, substance abuse and denial. Why indeed can one child have the will to go on and thrive, while others flounder.
At what point are we in charge of our own lives? At what point do we tell ourselves “Yesterday is on them, today and tomorrow is on me.” I think this is an important decision. Don’t let blame cripple you.