Signs You are in an Abusive Relationship

 

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This article may appear to be geared toward men as abusers.  It is difficult sometimes to use gender free words.  Women can be just as guilty so please don’t miss the message.

1. Quick involvement.  He/she comes on strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this before by anyone.” or “I’ve never felt like this about anyone before”  You get pressured for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

2. Jealous. Your partner is excessively possessive, calls constantly, or visits unexpectedly, accuses you of looking at others with great interest and scrutinizes every activity away from them and with them

3. Controlling. He/she interrogate you intensely about who you talked to and where you were; checks mileage on the car; keeps all the money or asks for receipts; insists you ask for permission to go anywhere or do anything, checks time in and out.

4. Very unrealistic expectations.  expects you to be the perfect person and meet their every need.

5. Isolating.  They will attempt to cut you off from family and friends; deprives you of a phone or car, or tries to prevent you from holding a job,complain about your job or hobbies that take you out of his control, struggles with the need for you to hold a job and their need to keep you isolated to themselves

6. Blames others for own mistakes. The boss, family, you – it’s always someone else’s fault if anything goes wrong.  Who ever is handy will get the blame.

7.  Everyone else is responsible for their feelings. The abuser says, “You make me angry” instead of “I’m angry.” “I wouldn’t get so p**** off if you wouldn’t…  Why do you have to do that?  Why did you make me do that?”

8. Overly Sensitive.  Is easily insulted, angered, hurt and will often rant and rave about injustices that are just part of life. Including feeling left out, un-friended, and unloved if not at the absolute center of the relationship

9. He/she is cruel to animals and children.  pushes animals brutally and unfairly. May expect children to do things beyond their ability, or tease them until they cry, lecture them beyond their year and ability to understand.

10. His/her “playful” use of force during sex.  Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will and may say they find the idea of rape exciting. Intimidates, manipulates, or forces you to engage in unwanted sex acts.

11. There is verbal abuse.  They constantly criticize you or says cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. He/she will use vulnerable points about your past/life against you.

12. There are rigid gender roles. He/She expects you to serve, obey, and remain at home when not required to be at your job.

13. Sudden mood swings.  switches from loving to angry in a matter of minutes.

14. History of battering. He admits to hitting women in the past, but states that they or the situation brought it on. Feels that they deserved it and so it is OK.

15. Threats  They makes statements such as, “I’ll break your neck,” but then dismisses it with “I really didn’t mean it.”

 

Annie O’Sullivan, Author of my Story “Can You Hear Me Now?” Available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble

 

We hold everything within ourselves to change our lives…

Profoundly simple and profoundly difficult.  Is it really just an idle thought on a Sunday night?  No! Not at all!

Consider this thought from Andrew Carnegie:

Any idea that is held in the mind, that is either feared, or revered, will begin at once to clothe itself in the most conveinient and appropriate form available….

Key words are feared and revered.  Why are both words key to us as survivors?  As children we feared and indeed revered our abuser(s)   They shaped our beliefs about ourselves. They controlled our belief of ourselves and to survive we clothed ourselves in the most conveinient and appropriate form available.  We also did it out of innocence.

What do you believe today?

It’s good to be back!  Annie

http://www.blogtalkradio.com

 

ARCHIVED SHOW! Rebecca Kimbel Msc.D, DTM ! One of 39 siblings born into a polygamist family, child rape, child trafficking and child brides. This woman has experienced it all.

In the Archive: Friday May 31, 2013. Rebecca Kimbel! Related to Warren Jeffs! If you don’t know her, I promise you will NEVER forget her. Listen in to find out how this affects us all. Click on the link below

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/can-you-hear-me-now-annie-osullivan/2013/06/01/can-you-hear-me-now-w-annie-osullivan-1

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Rebecca Kimbel

Rebecca is dedicated to teaching people how to overcome the personal obstacles of generations of culturally induced fear, insecurity and ignorance which keeps them from activating their personal potential and magnificence.

She is well read in the subjects of theology, philosophy, psychology, and has accumulated many accolades and degrees (Msc.D, DTM , and others). Her favorite is her Doctorate in Metaphysical Science and her position as Area Governor for Toastmasters International. Toastmasters International awarded her Area Governor of the Year 2007, for outstanding Service and exceptional leadership

Annie O’Sullivan and Kelly Behr have candid conversations concerning the past and much more importantly the future. Our guest have walked your road and come out the other side.

Working to INSPIRE, ENCOURAGE, EDUCATE, AND MENTOR FOR A BETTER TODAY AND TOMORROW!

Your Hosts:

Annie O’Sullivan, Author/Writer/Speaker, Can You Hear Me Now? (Available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble online)

Kelly Behr, Motivational Speaker and Head Goddess at http://www.MountainGoddessUnplugged.com

Survivors! On May 1!

Wednesday
9:00am until 10:00am

I am so humbled to be interviewed on my book, my story and of my story is in many ways yours. I hope you respond, call in write in to the station letting them know how very important this conversation is. IF we can talk about Child Abuse, Child Rape, we can stop it. It has to begin somewhere! Let it begin with you and with me!

http://www.ijpr.org/onlineaudio2.asp?SectionID=1012&programId=11

Live Call-In show: Jefferson Public Radio (NPR) Over 1 million listeners! What an Opportunity for SURVIVORS to be heard! Please share even if you are not going! Show the media that you do care about Child Abuse Issues by sharing and inviting you friends!

To listen on your Media device, Follow the link and on the left side Click on Listen live…. May 1, 9AM Pacific Time Geoffrey Riley Host/Producer Interview w/ Annie O’Sullivan, Author, Can you Hear Me Now?

or…. on your radio:

KSJK AM 1230
Talent
KAGI AM 930
Grants Pass
KTBR AM 950
Roseburg
KRVM AM 1280
Eugene
KSYC AM 1490
Yreka
KMJC AM 620
Mt. Shasta
KPMO AM 1300
Mendocino
KJPR AM 1330
Redding
KNHM FM 91.5 FM
Bayside/Eureka