“When survivors are bombarded with memories and painful feelings, and are engaged in a struggle to heal, they often lose the capacity (temporarily) to respond to situations appropriately.  Their emotional reactions are often overblown because the line between present hurts and old injuries disappears. They lose their sense of perspective and patience.  It’s like an old Plymouth with worn-out shocks; every minor bump in the road sends everyone in the car bouncing up and down.”  Allies in Healing by Laura Davis

This was posted on my Facebook page today.  It’s so very true.  I wanted to share it here.  I hope you feel the same.

The media promotes the thought that if children are taught “stranger” safety and keep away from those they do not know, they are less likely to be sexually abused. However, national statistics show that in over 90% of Child sexual abuse cases the offender is known to the victim. An offender is most often a family member or a relative, a friend of the family, a babysitter or an older child known to the victim.  Why don’t we admit the truth???   Why does the media continue to promote a myth?  They are powerful and could make a real difference yet they do not.

About the Author:.

I have been thinking the last couple of days of someting my daughter said to me last week.  My book was out and she had excitedly and proudly purchased a copy online.  She had been reading it and we talked about some things.  I found myself thunderstruck at one of her comments.  She said that she had been attached and cared about my ex’s.  An she wondered why we never talked about it at the time.  They just disappeared and no one ever talked about it.

I had no good answer.  But this is the sad truth.  I didn’t know any better.  I was vigilant as a mother could be looking for any infractions on the part of my husbands.  More than a couple.  My kids would begin to whine how they hated him.  They would outright tell me they wanted him gone.  This would go on for a while and I would begin to beleive that they were right.

What I was hearing was my past.  I hated my father.  I wanted my father gone.  No One ever got rid of him!  When they would start to complain about a step father….  I would hear it loud and clear.  I would feel guilty for not getting it right.  AND…  I never talked to them (my children) about it.  Why???  Because it had not occurred to me that there was any other way to handle it.  I thought I was making them happy….  How naive eh?

Now they are grown with their own children…. and this is the first time it has come up.  I am saddend to know how wrong I was, but glad she finally  asked so that she could be assured even after all the years, that I loved them and was trying to do the best for them that I could.

Abuse does indeed cast a shadow that stretches across a life time….. and not just your own.

The media promotes the thought that if children are taught “stranger” safety and keep away from those they do not know, they are less likely to be sexually abused. However, national statistics show that in over 90% of Child sexual abuse cases the offender is known to the victim. An offender is most often a family member or a relative, a friend of the family, a babysitter or an older child known to the victim.  Why don’t we admit the truth???   Why does the media continue to promote a myth? Because the truth is so ugly that no one wants to be confronted by it.  No one wants to hear that thier favorite Uncle has been molesting their child or any child.  So they pretend these things only happen by the monster down the street.  Even the pictures we see in the media show horrible pictures of these predators as if they are recognizable on the street.   I hope and pray and wish that one day… we won’t even have to ask these questions.  CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION AWARNESS MONTH is every day and every month for me.  I hope it is for you too and would love to hear your thoughts and ideas.  ❤   Night all!

The media promotes the thought that if children are taught “stranger” safety and keep away from those they do not know, they are less likely to be sexually abused. However, national statistics show that in over 90% of Child sexual abuse cases the offender is known to the victim. An offender is most often a family member or a relative, a friend of the family, a babysitter or an older child known to the victim.  Why don’t we admit the truth???   Why does the media continue to promote a myth? Because the truth is so ugly that no one wants to be confronted by it.  No one wants to hear that thier favorite Uncle has been molesting their child or any child.  So they pretend these things only happen by the monster down the street.  Even the pictures we see in the media show horrible pictures of these predators as if they are recognizable on the street.   I hope and pray and wish that one day… we won’t even have to ask these questions.  CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION AWARNESS MONTH is every day and every month for me.  I hope it is for you too and would love to hear your thoughts and ideas.  ❤   Night all!